A few years ago I was sitting across the table from my stake president as he taught me about the Principle of Compensation. I had never heard of it before. During conference 2008 I was thrilled to hear Elder Wirthlin teach about the same principle. His talk was an answer to my prayers. It changed my life. Today, I would like to show how I have tried to understand the Principle of Compensation as it relates to my life.
I don't mean to suggest that we “suppress discouragement or deny the reality of pain.” I don't mean to “smother the unpleasant truths beneath a a cloak of pretended happiness.” But like Elder Wirthlin, I do believe that the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life.
In preparation for this funeral I asked family members to send me their good memories of LeR. I would like to share a few of those memories today because I believe they are evidence that the Savior is aware of us. We can see his face in the blessings he has given us during times of trial.
Miriam Burton Tate (Sister to LeR)
She said that LeR was always good to her. He and Miriam came up with some money and went to the grocery store to buy some store bought food. Their parents never bought food from the store. They thought it would be yummy to buy some canned food. They went to the grocery store and found some canned tamales. They looked so good on the package. They took them home and opened the can to eat the tamales and they tasted horrible. They then threw the can out in the trash heap in the backyard. When their mom, Maud, came home she asked what the can of food was in the trash heap. They told her what it was and what they'd done and she told them that they shouldn't have wasted it because someone would have eaten it.
Miriam and LeR used to mow the lawn for someone in Malad. They got about ten cents for their labor and took it down to the drug store after they were done. With that money they bought two root beers at five cents each to cool off from all the hard work they'd done.
I remember always having work to do. When we first moved to Malad we had a herd of cows. In the summer LeR and I would take them out of the pasture and herd them along the irrigation ditch to eat the grass. We had to watch them and keep them off the road. Later we had a ranch with a large herd of cattle. LeR had to help milk the cows. We would cut and stock hay. We also had a milk processing plant and we had to wash milk bottles and pasteurize the milk. Every morning we would get up early and deliver the milk to everyone's home before we went to school.
LeR was always good to me. When I got married he would come to visit me and he would bring me bags of groceries. Sometimes he would give me money. I remember going shopping with him when he was buying clothes for his family and he bought a coat for me. We were always close as a family.
We will miss him in our lives.
I remember always having work to do. When we first moved to Malad we had a herd of cows. In the summer LeR and I would take them out of the pasture and herd them along the irrigation ditch to eat the grass. We had to watch them and keep them off the road. Later we had a ranch with a large herd of cattle. LeR had to help milk the cows. We would cut and stock hay. We also had a milk processing plant and we had to wash milk bottles and pasteurize the milk. Every morning we would get up early and deliver the milk to everyone's home before we went to school.
LeR was always good to me. When I got married he would come to visit me and he would bring me bags of groceries. Sometimes he would give me money. I remember going shopping with him when he was buying clothes for his family and he bought a coat for me. We were always close as a family.
We will miss him in our lives.
Chuck Castleton, LeR's son in law remembers a few things about LeR. When we were first married LeR was called to teach the 11 year old boys in Primary. He had an Apple II computer, which was quite unusual at that time (early 1980s). He was always trying to find ways to use the computer to teach the boys. He was also constantly trying new teaching techniques, like teaching without speaking - just writing an occasional direction on the chalkboard to guide the boys as they discovered the lesson concepts on their own. Using the best techniques to teach the gospel was very important to him. He worked hard to get the boys to sing, and he was so pleased when the Primary president noticed his success. As a teacher of 11 year old boys myself now, I have a new appreciation for what he accomplished.
Lara Blackham Vangundy (niece to LeR) wrote: "I remember eating lamb with mint jelly at your house and being so amazed at the concept of the motor home. Don't even get me started about how cool the trampoline was. Good times:-) Love you cuz!"
Sarah Matthews Greenwood (granddaughter of LeR) LeR was always there for my big occasions. He came out for my baptism, my graduations and my endowment. He was good at giving gifts. He loved music and supported music instruction. I remember playing for hours on his mac piano program. He loved geneology and for good reason. Willard Richards and Lot Smith are a great heritage. He knew how to tell a story and how to recite poetry.
Eva Castleton Radmall(granddaughter to LeR)says, I remember the smell of grandpa's Sunday roast. It always had a layer of salt on the outside and was so tasty. I've never been able to replicate the smell or the taste. Maybe I'm too stingy with the salt. I remember grandpa always asking me to play the piano when we would visit and wishing I had something memorized to play for him. I remember a postcard they sent us from Hawaii with a picture if them smiling with parrots on their arms and shoulders. Grandpa always told jokes when we were all together. He would sit back and get everyones attention by saying something in his deep voice and pausing, and then he'd say the punch line. And once everyone else was laughing he'd chuckle too. I always felt like he was proud of me. I can't quite pinpoint why - maybe because he'd say things or give compliments or ask me to play the piano for him.
Paul Blackham (Nephew to LeR) wrote
Dear Kathy,
I have many pleasant memories of time with my Burton cousins, and my uncle was certainly a part of them.
1. The countless Thanksgiving Day feasts held at the home in Holladay. There was time to play with cousins, and of course to eat.
2. The "Hippopotabus".It seems LeR was on the cutting edge of new things. Today, we would call it a Recreational Vehicle.
3. Horseback riding, both at the home in Holladay, and Dimple Dell.
4. Generosity, in letting inexperienced family enjoy the beauty and majesty of horses, and also caution to protect the novice riders from injury.
5. A call from LeR to announce the Craig had been asked to extend his mission.
6. Another call from LeR to announce that Craig would not be staying as long as anticipated, and yet his miraculous protection against physical attacks.
7. LeR was a temple worker on my first session at the Salt Lake Temple.
8. Many Christmas Day visits to our cousins to see what Santa brought for Christmas. LeR was always there.
9. LeR was a tease, but I think he cared about us.
10. I felt that LeR respected me.
Helen Burton Macfarlane (daughter) said When I was attending high school in Provo, I became friends with a college student (Gary Cotton-Betteridge). When dad heard that Gary was a good pianist and was planning on coming to the house, he spend his last hundred dollars to get the piano tuned. I felt terrible!! But dad was thrilled and thoroughly enjoyed the recital.
Later, after Gary had moved back to Seattle and was living on his own, Dad and I took a trip to Seattle. Dad saw Gary's living circumstances and took immediate action. He went to the store and bought several bags of groceries and took them to Gary's apartment.
Helen
Rachel Spigarelli (granddaughter)said
I always associate Grandpa with cooking good food. I remember one time he was so excited about this rack of lamb with fresh mint. It really was delicious. I always loved his roasts and enjoyed helping and snitching in the kitchen with him.
One year, I think it was 2001, my husband, David and I went to join Grandma and Grandpa at their house to celebrate his birthday. We had yummy root beer floats and lots of laughs.
I remember Grandpa trying to get me to enjoy fresh radishes. He went out to the garden and pulled up fresh radishes, sliced them, and put them between two slices of bread. I still wasn't a fan, though.
Shortly after Grandpa paved the driveway, I made a comment about how fun it would be to have a basketball hoop at his house. He surprised grandma by tearing a hole in the driveway and putting it in right away.
Once when I won a debate tournament, Grandma and Grandpa came to hear me and he presented me with a pen engraved with my name. I really liked that.
Another meaningful gift he gave me was just after I went to the temple for the first time. He gave me this cool coin purse, identical to the one he had that I had admired. I really liked it.
Amy Tate(niece)
Your dad always had the newest cool technology. I think he was the first person I knew with a car phone (and back then it was actually a car phone - not so portable), and I remember he showed the first fax I had ever seen. It was a fax of a picture of one of his grandchildren. I was pretty impressed.
Tricia Boles (granddaughter)
I thought of a good memory. He used to take me out to his garden, and show me the peas. How to pick them, when they were ready, and let me go to town. I remember sitting next to a barn/shed or something and eating a full bowl of peas. He let me eat all I wanted!!!
I think I must have only been 4 or 5 years old.
Miriam Een (niece) I have an amusing incident that I recall about Uncle LeR. When I was in grad school at Berkeley Uncle LeR and Aunt Mary moved out for a fairly brief time and lived in Emeryville, California nearby where I lived. Helen was in the area that summer, too doing internships and moved in with me and my roommate--that was especially great! Anyway, Uncle LeR and Aunt Mary lived in a condo/apartment and as a resourceful, get-it-done-type guy he moved them in using the equipment he had available. In this case it included a shopping cart. It sill makes me smile to picture a 60-something year old man moving in boxes and furniture with a shopping cart. I don't know HOW that couch and bed ever fit in the shopping cart!
Blackham family (Larene is sister to LeR and her children) Nanette sent me her memory of how Uncle LeR would let the kids ride horses when we visited. I remember going to Dimple Dell to see the horses there. Lara remembers coming to your home and jumping on the trampoline. I remember visiting with your family at Christmas time and seeing all the great presents also having Thanksgiving with the Burton clan and playing with cousins while the boys and some of the dads played football or basketball.
Melissa
Alysa Smith (granddaughter)
Aunty Kathy,
Oh, how I wish I could have come! Thank you for your generous offer of a place to stay. I hope that you are doing well. I hope that all of our family members are coping well. It's a tough thing for me, having Grandpa LeR die. I have many good memories of him. I remember him gleefully showing us a couple of blue motor scooters that we could ride around. I remember him making me liver and onions in the kitchen. I remember going to visit Grandma and Grandpa in my first year or so of college, and Grandpa asking, "So, are you dating anyone?" I responded that I was not, and he said "Very common problem. Very common problem." I remember hanging out in the apartment and exploring it while he showed my dad and Ransom his computers. I remember him reciting poetry and I think that his love of poetry translated into his everyday language. He was always pausing for effect, clearing his throat, etc. Rootbeer floats and Haagen-Daaz ice cream make me think of Grandpa LeR.
Kathy Castleton (daughter) When I was first married every time my husband and I would go home to visit my father would follow us out to the car. As we got in the car he would slyly hand us a $50 dollar bill. This small gesture was the difference between eating for the month and not for us.
I have chosen to remember the good things our father did, not in an attempt to cover up or dismiss the sorrow and tragedy many of us faced in our lives, but to recognize that Heavenly Father granted us compensating experiences to heal us and help us. I believe that by trying to find the good we can be unified and see the face of Christ in our lives.
This gospel is the way to true and lasting happiness. It has the answers to life's most difficult questions. I know that Heavenly Father loved us so much that He sent His Only Begotten Son as our Redeemer.
